Nostalgia & Mangia ~ August 28th

Today is hard for me, because 3 years ago on August 28th 2006 we sold our house. I really miss it still, and these past 3 years have been like a (bad) roller coaster ride for me. It is really hard not having a home anymore. I feel like my Mom and I are always on the move, and I just wish that I could go home... only, there is no home to go back to. :( In fact, when our lease is up, we'll be moving again in late January... we don't even no where to yet either! Maybe we'll stay in NYC, maybe we'll move back out to Long Island... It's hard never knowing where you are going to live next. So if you do have a home, never take it for granted! Remember that!!

Anyways, on to happier things... I took some cute pictures of Peanut in Mom's room last night...

We spent the day cleaning and then went to the Olive Garden for dinner. We have a kick-ass Olive Garden near us too. The food may not be the healthiest in the world, but it is SO freaking good. Even when I had anorexia I was able to eat a staggering amount of food there.

I started off with my favorite... minestrone soup. I also had a bit of a breadstick with it (not pictured).

For my entree I had their amazing five cheese ziti al forno. I was actually able to nearly finish it this time! I was surprised, because I never usually can.

And for dessert I felt like trying something different. Their "seasonal special" was pumpkin cheesecake, so that's what I got (we got our desserts to go). This was REALLY good, and I'm usually not a fan of pumpkin desserts. In fact, I've never even had pumpkin pie! So this was definitely a big leap for me. I'm glad I tried it though!

And here's a pic I took of Peanut tonight... he's holding his "companion" which is what I call his raccoon toy. It was the toy that we brought for him in his carrier the night we picked him up. He's slept with him ever since. :)

Have a good weekend everyone!

Daily Eats & Observations ~ August 27th

Lately my usual eating schedule has been a bit "off," but I find that when I do reach for food, there is nothing off limits. I basically eat whatever I want. And I'm okay with the fact that I'm not a size 0. A size 6 is fine, and actually is what most men prefer anyway! (So ladies, why the hell are we killing ourselves to be so damn skinny?!) Eating whatever you want is not necessarily a good thing, but for me I find that it is. Pizza, pasta, bagels, cheesecake... and I'm still losing or maintaining my weight! Who'd have guessed?! lol Don't worry though, I haven't completely lost my mind. I still eat some healthy things... fruit, veggies, etc. I think it really comes down to how much you eat, not what you eat. But I think I've finally gotten to a good place for myself, where I'm comfortable really eating what I want, and I'm not afraid of getting "fat." I'm actually eating now how I've always dreamed of being able to eat. After spending years afraid of so many foods and being unhappy about it all, I feel like I'm finally able to let go...

Here's a pic I took of myself today on my MacBook...

I went downtown early this afternoon, and had lunch at Pomodoro's (famous for their vodka pizza :). As you can see I'm really slipping when it comes to remembering to take pictures of what I eat! I was half way through when I remembered! lol I guess I was really hungry! ;)

After lunch I went to my second home-- the Bowery Whole Foods Market. This is hands down, the most beautiful grocery store in all of New York City. The isles are HUGE, it is never too crowded, they have a great selection, and the place is spotless!

I couldn't help but get on of their fresh baked vegan chocolate chip cookies!

And here's a pic I got of Peanut (mid blink! lol) while he was playing on my bed this afternoon.

Daily Eats & Interesting Finds ~ August 24th

I happened to wake up early this morning, so I decided to go have breakfast at the Hollywood Diner, since I live right by there. Apparently actor Gerard Butler was there not long ago... it's a very popular, yet inexpensive spot. Anyways, I got...

The belgian waffles with strawberries (notice the pretty flower design in the middle! :) and a glass of orange juice. I piled on the butter & syrup to make up for the fact that I couldn't finish all of it. Even at 10 a.m. I have trouble choking down food now! I guess I've got into the habit of not eating breakfast... terrific, I know. :(

Instead of all my usual "eats," I decided that I want to do a feature on a product that I've fallen in love with. It truly is the greatest invention since sliced bread if you ask me!

QB's crispy treats filled with ice cream! I found these babies at the Whole Foods Market. I got the chocolate filled ones, and next time I will try the vanilla. What I love about them, is that they are a natural version of rice crispy treats, yet they taste just as good as the kind that you had as a kid! And best of all, there is no icky, disgusting GELATIN in them! So they are vegetarian. I had one of these treats for part of my afternoon snack. They're perfect for this hot summer weather... and under 200 calories per square, which is amazing when you consider how good these things are! (Oh, and they look little on the box, but they actually give you 4 good sized squares per box! I was pleased to see their actual size when I opened the box!)

As for Peanut...

He's growing up so fast! He reminds me so much of Cloudy. He looks a lot like him, except he's a lighter version. lol But while Peanut is different in many ways (as in his unusual love for water), they have a lot in common personality wise... a bit stubborn, but very loving... and extremely smart! All my cats have very high IQ's! ;) Now I just need to teach him how to play the piano, and he can be the next big YouTube star! lol

I'm Back... for now! August 23rd

I've decided to come back to blogging... I may not be able to update everyday like I used to, but I still want blogging to be a part of my life, so I will try to update as much as possible! Anyways, a lot has been going on in my life since I last posted on this blog... I am losing weight again (not good, I know), but that's mainly been due to stress, not my eating disorder. Peanut has been doing well though, and I'm sure you're all wondering what he's been up to! Well, let's see...

He's been helping us play Scrabble by curling up in the Scrabble box!

Peanut is learning to climb up high, and now he can climb onto the kitchen counters (goodie gaydrops! lol). So he has recently discovered the kitchen sink, as you can see! :)

And I just made another trip to Petco today and bought Peanut a new chew toy (because he is teething like crazy now!). He seems to love it!

Peanut also turned 5 months old on August 13th, and he'll be 6 months old on September 13th. So I decided that it was time to make Peanut's neutering appointment... The big day is September 16th. I know I'll be a nervous wreck, but once a kitten is 6 months old, it needs to be done... I'll definitely keep you posted on how Peanut is doing on that day! While I love and trust his vet, Dr. Sane, I'm not looking forward to dropping him off at the vet's office. It brings back terrible memories with Cloudy (see below).

And now to the "Daily Eats" portion... I don't plan on featuring all my eats anymore, but I plan on featuring some of my eats each post. Anyways, I decided to treat myself to brunch at the Blue Water Grill today... it's a famous restaurant in Union Square.

I usually don't bother featuring what I drink... but you get a complementary drink with brunch, and I chose orange juice, which was awesome... fresh squeezed and all!

For my entree I had a delicious egg white omelette with portobello mushrooms, tomatoes, and low fat muenster cheese. It came with a side of potatoes.

Instead of spending $10 on one of their fancy desserts, when I came home I had a piece of pineapple upside down cake that I got at the Whole Foods Market the other day...

Today is also a bittersweet day for me, because 13 years ago to the day, on August 23rd 1996 we adopted my Cloudy, who was just a 7 and a half week old kitten at the time. I miss him so much, and it's hard for me to grasp that his life is over now... he came and went much too soon. He would have been 13 years old this July. :(

But having Peanut in my life has helped me cope so much after experiencing the terrible loss of Cloudy last year. I also want to thank everyone for their kind words about Cloudy, Peanut, and this blog... And again, I really do appreciate all the comments... I read each and every one!

P.S. Can anyone tell me what happened to the Peanut Butter Swirl blog?! :(

Blog on hold... August 11th

Don't you love that picture of Peanut?! I took it yesterday. He looks like he's saying, "WTF?!" lol I suppose it's appropriate for the announcement I'm going to make... I've decided to put my blog on hold. I just have too much going on in my life right now to give 100% to it anymore. But please keep checking back, because I could pick it up again anytime! In the meantime, I just want to say that I really do appreciate all your comments and support!

Love always,

Marina

Still no eats... August 9th

I guess I'm still on hiatus from my usual daily eats... I didn't end up meeting my friend until later for brunch, and I forgot to take pics of it... I'm not 100% sure when I'll be getting back on track with my eating. These past few days I've been eating little bits here and there, but haven't really felt like eating like I usually do. For example, today I had a plain bagel with swiss cheese, a few bites of an omelette at brunch, Van's waffles with berries for dinner, and later a Van's pocket sandwich and 3/4's of a Clif Builder's Bar. The good news is that I really feel like I don't need this blog in order to eat properly anymore. I suppose that's not good news for the future of my blog, but it's good that I'm back on track with a healthy, normal attitude towards food! The stress that has been causing me to eat erratically and not be hungry at my normal meal times, has come from many different sources... family, men, money, work... the usual. But why is it that men are usually the primary source of stress? They are such weird creatures... they don't call when they're supposed to, they don't have the same thought process/logic as we do, and they are always thinking the opposite of what you are... And this is why I don't date often! lol Can anyone relate?

In other news... August 8th

I've been kind of stressed out lately, and not that hungry at all. In fact, I really had to FORCE myself to eat today. I'm going to brunch with a friend tomorrow though, so I may be posting about that. But here's your daily dose of Peanut! :)

Daily Eats ~ August 7th

Breakfast:

I tried a new kind of french toast... Aunt Jemima's whole grain french toast. I had it topped with the usual maple syrup, whipped cream, and strawberries alongside. I didn't like this french toast nearly as well as Trader Joe's. It just had a bit of a phony taste to it, so I barely ate any. I had a glass of orange juice with it too.

Lunch:

I made my pizza muffins again... using a Rudi's Organic whole wheat english muffin, topped with vodka pasta sauce and mozzarella cheese. I had some orange slices alongside and a Trader Joe's 100 calorie milk chocolate bar after lunch (not pictured).

Dinner:

I was really hungry by dinner, since I didn't have a snack today (note the bite I took out of the veggie burger while I was waiting for the rest of my dinner to cook!). I had an Amy's bistro burger on a Rudi's Organic whole wheat bun with 2 slices of cheese and ketchup alongside. I made some organic french fries and a mini corn on the cob to go with it!

Peanut sitting pretty...

Dessert:

I had a Smart Ones Brownie A La Mode dessert with some strawberries alongside.

(I also had a handful of my Blue Diamond brown sugar cinnamon almonds later because I was still hungry - not pictured.)

I hope everyone is having a good weekend! I've been busy catching up with my old crush. So far we're just texting (how scandalous! lol). Back in High School he was an athlete/class clown/bad boy. Am I alone in liking this type of guy?

Daily Eats ~ August 6th

Slept in again today... and when I woke up, I wasn't really in the mood for breakfast, so I only had a bit...

Breakfast:

I had 2 slices of Food For Life's cinnamon raisin ezekiel toast topped with peanut butter & peach preserves. I had some strawberries and an Apple & Eve organic grape juice box alongside. (I didn't finish all the toast or strawberries.)

Lunch:

I had a repeat of yesterday's lunch... a Van's veggie, egg, & cheese pocket sandwich with a Mott's peach medley apple sauce.

Peanut's nap... it looks like he belongs in a nursery! :)

Snack:

I made my almond parfait with a new greek yogurt that I haven't tried before... Brown Cow's plain greek yogurt. I added in a tiny bit of vanilla extract, some agave nectar and maple syrup to sweeten it, and topped it with sliced almonds and chocolate chips!

I thought that Brown Cow Greek Yogurt tasted a lot like Oikos Greek Yogurt. Both were pretty good, although a bit sour for my taste.

Dinner:

I had an Amy's Country Cheddar Bowl for dinner. I also had an orange later (not pictured).

Dessert:

I had some of a piece of vegan chocolate cake that I got from Whole Foods.

I haven't been that hungry today... I'm really trying to follow my body's cues now, and I seem to have no desire to overeat or under eat anymore. This is a really big step for me, because for the first time in years, I finally feel free of my eating disorder. It's just something that I feel like I'm ready to move past now. I never thought that this day would come either and I'm terrified of a relapse, but I can only worry about today, and today I can honestly say that I'm okay. So for those of you still struggling, please know that recovery is possible and it's possible to get in a good place when it comes to food again! xo

Daily Eats ~ August 5th

I heard Peanut waking me up earlier, but I was so tired this morning, I just rolled over. I didn't get up until 10:30! Anyways, in case you missed the big news yesterday, I found out that not Peanut's sister, but in fact, his brother, is still looking for a home! So again, if you could spread the word to anyone you know in the NY area, I'd really appreciate it!!

Breakfast:

2 slices of Trader Joe's french toast, topped with their own maple syrup and blueberries & kiwi. I had a glass of orange juice with it too.

Lunch:

I had a Van's Veggie, Egg & Cheese sandwich with a Mott's Peach Medley apple sauce (Peanut had some like usual too).

My Duddy boy watching me eat lunch. Why do I call him "Duddy?" It's his nickname for a maneuver he does with his arms... see here (scroll down the page)!

Snack:

Just a Clif Mojo Dipped Fruit & Nut Bar!

Dinner:

I had an Amy's Baked Ziti Bowl with some breadsticks that I got from a restaurant in Southampton last month... (I took home a few of those breadstick packets! lol)

Dessert:

I was really hungry tonight, so I had 2 VitaBrownies topped with dollops of Nutella and whipped cream, with strawberries alongside.

Today was a pretty quiet day... I was looking up some friends from High School on Facebook. I happened across a guy that I used to have a bit of crush on when I was a freshman and he was a senior. So now that we're in touch again, we'll have to see where it leads... (just like any soap opera! lol)

Daily Eats ~ August 4th

It's supposed to get really hot here today. :( I'm going to try to run some errands anyway, because at least it's not supposed to be raining for a change! lol Just for something different, I want to show you a dress I got yesterday...

It's from Alloy. My favorite color is purple and the bohemian look is "in" right now apparently. I already have a great plum Hayden-Harnett bag that goes perfectly with this too!

Breakfast:

I had 2 Van's Belgian Waffles topped with maple syrup, berries, and dollops of whipped cream. I had an Apple & Eve organic apple juice box alongside.

Lunch:

I just had an Annie's single serve mac & cheese with a packet of Birds Eye Steamfresh single serve peas mixed in. (I'm out of veggie dogs unfortunately!)

I had a Trader Joe's 100 calorie milk chocolate bar after lunch too. Granted, this was not the healthiest lunch, but it was what I felt like having today.

Snack:

I got a Red Mango frozen yogurt this afternoon... I get the medium original with strawberries & granola. (Note Peanut in the background... he likes Red Mango yogurt too! He's always so happy when I bring one home. ;)

Dinner:

I had an Amy's Bistro Burger on a Rudi's Organic whole wheat bun, with 2 slices of cheese and ketchup alongside. I also made a Birds Eye Steamfresh veggie medley to have with it.

Peanut eyeing my dinner...

Dessert:

I had a Clif Chocolate Almond Fudge Bar topped with Nutella, and a few strawberries alongside.

I have some news about Peanut's "sister." Now I put "sister" in quotes, because it turns out that his "sister" is a boy afterall! The woman that I got Peanut from contacted me today, and she is still looking for a home for Peanut's BROTHER, because she can't keep him (she already has Peanut's mother and grandmother). She told me that she's realized that the kitten is a boy, now that he's more *ahem* "developed." She's going to have to bring his brother to an animal shelter, unless anyone in the NY area is looking to adopt Peanut's adorable little brother! You can obviously see what he looks like by Peanut's pictures (except his brother is solid orange and doesn't have the white on him). So again, if anyone is interested, please contact me ASAP!