It's late, I can't sleep, and I'm feeling sorry for myself... for a whole variety of reasons (boyfriend trouble, family trouble, money trouble... need I go on?). And this has sparked another thing that's been bothering me. Probably most of my readers know by now that I was a fashion model here in NYC. I got down to an emaciated size 0 at 5'9", developed anorexia, and nearly starved myself to death (glamourous, right?). I have never shared modeling pictures of myself, but I decided to tonight... So, here I am, looking sullen and skinny, with my face sunken in. These are from my "book."
These pictures were taken just 2 years ago... Looking back on it, this was a very sad time in my life, and I'm really glad that I'm not the girl in these photos anymore. The pressure was enormous, and my health was very poor. I honestly don't know how I managed as well as I did... Sadly, not much has changed. Here are just a few pictures I found from this fall's fashion week...
I really should apologize if anyone was triggered or offended by any of the pictures I've just posted. Please know that I'm doing it to prove a point. This is NOT what women should strive to look like! And for God's sakes, EAT! I have known sooo many models, and I promise you that they are not happy. And on a side note, it physically hurts to be so boney. When those photos of me were taken, it hurt to sit down because I had no fat anymore covering my tail bone or spine. Keep in mind that the camera adds weight, and a lot of the clothes models are forced to wear cover up how dreadfully skinny they are, so it's really hard to tell anything from pictures!
Anyways, on to happier news! The very kind Katie at the Vitalicious company sent me a huge sampler pack of all their goodies! I was like I kid in the candy store when it arrived! Take a look! :)
It's nice to be able to get to sample everything! So far I've only tried the chocolate "Vita" products. I am in love with their brownies by the way, and usually have to haul ass to Fairway Market to get them, so it was nice to get a whole new box delivered to my door!
And finally, the daily Peanut pic... :)
I don't know what the hell my plans are for this weekend... I may be going Upstate to visit relatives, I may be spending time with my ever disappearing boyfriend, or I may just be spending time with Peanut... actually, that last option is sounding like the best one at the moment! ;)